Three Lessons Learned in Interpersonal Communications

Hello all, please excuse this article I had to turn in a final project for class and as part of that, I am posting it here! If you’d like some good life lessons that Interpersonal Communications taught me then by all means, read on! 

Jessy Miller

Prof U. 

Interpersonal Communications

23 July 2020

Three Lessons I Learned in Interpersonal Communications

Interpersonal Communications is easily the best course I’ve taken since I started my adventure through college. It stressed me out the least out of all the courses I’ve taken, I had a genuine interest in the class and it helps that I actually liked the textbook. (I know that is practically unheard of but trust me on that one). But the best part about this class is all that i learned in it and about myself along the way. Interpersonal communication is “interaction distinguished by the qualities of uniqueness, interdependence, self-disclosure and intrinsic rewards” (Adler et al. 15). It’s crucial that everyone is able to navigate these close relationships (not always romantic!) that they have all throughout their lifetimes. It is beneficial both for the communicator and the receiver(s) of the message. In this class, I learned (at least three) very important lessons.

So let’s move on to the first lesson I that I learned: When I am interested in the topics in the textbook, I get higher grades on tests and quizzes.

This one might seem fairly obvious. If you’re interested in learning about a topic, then more of it will stick in your brain. For me the biggest change I saw was that I actually read a textbook cover to cover and I enjoyed myself! No really, Interplay by Ronald B. Adler, Lawrence B. Rosenfield and Russell F. Proctor II was written in a way that felt like someone was sitting with you at a table explaining everything in length. It wasn’t dry or overly dense, and everything made sense. This textbook had so many good lessons to offer about how to become a better communicator and it's really important that in all the relationships (not just romantic!) you will have in your lifetime that you are able to understand both yourself and others in conversation. Chapters like Interpersonal Communication and the Self, Communication in Close Relationships: Friends, Family, and Romantic Partners, Managing Conflict, and the Communication Climate stood out the most.

It’s so important to me that I figured this out because in the future when I’m not getting as good of a quiz score as I would like I can force myself to return to the textbook. I can even rewrite what I read in a way that is simplified down so I can return to it. If you can write it you can understand it.

(For those interested, here is a link to the book).

The second lesson that I learned: It’s hard, but I absolutely can handle a fast paced course.

Personally, I thought the class material itself was pretty easy to handle but since I took an eight week course instead of a twelve week course it was a bit more work. (I was also taking an eight week Sociology course). In a fast paced course you condense all the material of a regular paced course and do it in a lot less time. I was doing around three to four discussion board projects every week (in both classes combined) and maybe even writing a paper or two. But I think it was worth it because I had fun and got a lot of work done. I felt very productive. But doing all of this class work sometimes things happen and you get discussions mixed up… which one did you do? Which one did you respond to classmates' work? In the end it all worked out alright.

This lesson was important for me to learn because I was very nervous about taking not only one but two fast paced courses. It was good to get that little confidence boost and be able to say “I can do it!” Everybody needs a little confidence boost once in a while!

And finally, the third lesson I learned: Learning how to better communicate

I think this lesson is the most obvious, because I took a communications class! Of course some kind of communication skill would stick with me… at least I hope they will. In all actuality, I feel as though I am a better communicator. In reading the textbook, I’ve learned how things like kinesics (body language), oculesics (eye contact), haptics (touch), and paralanguage (the way a message is spoken) are important in communication (Adler et al. 178-182). You should communicate open body language and not have your arms crossed, smile accordingly and nod your head as you listen. You should also reiterate what the person speaking is saying to make sure you are both on the same page to help lessen miscommunication. 

I’ve also learned that in high context communities like other countries that have more formality, rely on subtle nonverbal cues, whereas low context communities like the United States rely more on language to get points across (Adler et al. 43). I probably won’t travel much in my life, but it’s good to know in case I ever do.

This lesson is significant because learning how to effectively communicate both verbally and nonverbally can help me make my connections with friends and family that much stronger. Its helped me learn to step back during a conversation and try to see why its maybe not going as well as I’d like. It will also hopefully help me make more friends throughout my lifetime. Miscommunication is the number one reason why relationships (not always romantic!) fail, and it’s important that we all do our best to work past it.

Interpersonal Communications was a really fun course for me to take. If you’re interested in learning about how to “up” your communication skills with your friends and loved ones, I highly recommend giving this course a shot. And if you aren’t in college, I’m sure YouTube has a plethora of advice you can search through. My grades went up this summer because I was interested in the topic at hand and loved reading my text book, I was able to have that “I can do it!” moment, and I learned how to better communicate with people I care about. Yes, I learned a lot about myself this summer... did you?

Work Cited

Adler, Ronald B., et al. Interplay: the Process of Interpersonal Communication. Oxford 

University Press, 2018, pp. 15, 43, 178-182.